What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

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Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

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Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

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I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

What are some K-pop idols with smiles that are healing?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

TEXT:

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

What are the 10 things you regret doing in your life?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

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Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Make Nazis afraid again!

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And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

How do you recognize when your mental health might need attention?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

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Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

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In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.